Hi there. I’m Andres du Bouchet – a maniacal genius of unparalleled self-genius-calling, and I’m here to tell you that I’ve had another one of my EPHIPHANIES*. Which basically means…three Newcastle Brown Ales. At any rate, I was slumped in front of the televising device tonight watching ‘American Idol’, and I came to a very important conclusion that is going to effect all of our lives…

Freddy Mercury is more talented than us. It’s true. Sure, the poor man passed away years ago, but his talent continues to ripple outward on this pond we call THE UNIVERSE, whereas any talent each and any of us has continues its slow, steady, plop towards the sediment that lies at the bottom of the dark cloudy pool that will, in the end, swallow us all. Fuck you. Freddy Mercury rules. Each and every one of those American Idol contestants tonight had a grand voice, a fine, “he/she is the best singer in the office and/or at tonight’s karaoke competition” voice, but Freddy Mercury’s songs in turn devoured them whole. Fuck them too.

So indeed.

Newcastle #4 on the way. I know, it’s been a while since I’ve been all drunk and slumped oh my god am I single again NO. HA! No ladies. Fuck you three.

*Sic. (hic!)