The other night Sara and I were watching TV, and she pointed something out to me – in virtually every commercial featuring a married couple, the wife was a total cunt and the husband was a borderline-retarded moron. And she’s right. Just pay a bit more attention the next time a commercial with a married couple comes on, and you’ll see – what’s depicted isn’t romance and friendship (unless it’s an ED drug commercial), what’s depicted is a strange, adversarial relationship in which the smart and evil female is constantly thwarting her toddler-brained, good-natured dufus husband’s attempts at fun. For example, I took the trouble of transcribing a recent Budweiser commercial, word-for-word exactly for real seriously:
THE HUSBAND SITS ON A COUCH DRINKING A BEER
THE WIFE WALKS IN
Did you do the errand!
(glares at husband)
THEIR DOG WALKS IN WEARING A FOOTBALL JERSEY
(shrugs helplessly and then falls off the roof which he is suddenly on)
I ceaselessly plot to thwart enjoyment!