Cunts and Morons

The other night Sara and I were watching TV, and she pointed something out to me – in virtually every commercial featuring a married couple, the wife was a total cunt and the husband was a borderline-retarded moron. And she’s right. Just pay a bit more attention the next time a commercial with a married couple comes on, and you’ll see – what’s depicted isn’t romance and friendship (unless it’s an ED drug commercial), what’s depicted is a strange, adversarial relationship in which the smart and evil female is constantly thwarting her toddler-brained, good-natured dufus husband’s attempts at fun. For example, I took the trouble of transcribing a recent Budweiser commercial, word-for-word exactly for real seriously:

THE HUSBAND SITS ON A COUCH DRINKING A BEER

THE WIFE WALKS IN

WIFE

Did you do the errand!

HUSBAND

But beer.

WIFE

(glares at husband)

THEIR DOG WALKS IN WEARING A FOOTBALL JERSEY

HUSBAND

(shrugs helplessly and then falls off the roof which he is suddenly on)

WIFE

I ceaselessly plot to thwart enjoyment!

THE END

Crazy, right?

Rat Race article

Here’s a cool article about the video game I’m doing some voiceover work for.

BANANA BREAK!

I’ll tell ya, this guy was a joy to work with. He had one demand on his contract – ‘Banana’. I think he did a great job:

Techno Tortoise!

(this is from my gig at ‘Talkshow’ as well)

EPPT

Here’s another ‘Talkshow’ clip. I co-wrote this commercial parody (based on another guy’s idea), and the very funny Andrew Donnelly stars in it:

The Eddie Murphy Early Pregnancy & Paternity Test

Blast from the past

Look what I found!